Well, this is my blog; I always thought it was for self absorbed people who feel like the world cannot live without the next post. Well, I’m not self absorbed. I have cancer and this is my way of getting it out in the world, my own personal journal that the world can see and if I give hope to 1 person then it was well worth it. My journey with myeloma started in November of 2008, (well I knew something was wrong)--I got pneumonia, no big deal, yet between November 2008 and April 2009 it happened 3 more times. Me being the stubborn goat I am, let it go as a fluke.

Then, in May I got sick again, (WTF) so my wife (the boss in a good way) got me an appointment with my primary doctor and he sent me in for routine blood tests. The results had come back abnormal and called me back to take them again, twice, then, they called for me to come in. I go in he says,” eh not sure what it is but I’m going to refer you to an oncologist”--ok no problem but what the hell is an oncologist?

I continued to go to work like nothing is wrong I’m tired all the time. I thought maybe the problem was the beer I drank at night to wind down, so I brush it off.

Then one day before my appointment, I’m in the admin office, and I ask a supervisor what an oncologist does. He replies that an oncologist is a cancer doctor. My blood went cold…WTF, I thought, why am I being referred to a cancer doc, I don’t have cancer I’m fine. All these thoughts went through my head while a close friend and co-worker looked on. I was speechless, and she was too. (I don’t blame her. After all, what can you say at a moment like that?)

The day came for me to see the oncologist and I went to the appointment with my wife, Sarah, and the doctor, with 25 plus years experience, said he suspected it was multiple myeloma, and that he wanted to do some tests to confirm his suspicions. Ok, I thought, let’s do it not realizing all the fun involved with that. Blood tests are one thing but to have to pee in a jug and keep it for 24hrs in the fridge, is another. Yea, I had to collect my pee for 1 day (hey kids that’s not orange juice in the fridge, ha ha). So, no worries, I do everything requested of me. Good times, good times.

Then the day came for the follow up appointment with the oncologist. With my wife by my side, the doctor comes in to the room. His demeanor was as if he was your neighbor next door or someone you would talk to on the bus. My thoughts were as if he would have found nothing unusual, then he drops the bomb. “Tom you have cancer. It is multiple myeloma”. He goes on to show the blood work (like I understand at this point.)

Ok now what? Everything for the doc is not soon enough. He feels as though beginning treatment was the best course of action, but of course, he feels like this treatment should have been done “a month ago”. The rest of the day is shot. I had to cancel my dentist appointment (obvious reasons). My wife sobbed, she was hit harder than I was. I tried to remain strong (like I have always been) I reassured her it’s going to be ok and the doc knows what he is doing. She was inconsolable for a full week, and yea, I went on a rollercoaster too I just held it in….had to be strong. But who would’ve known this would be so hard.

This was all in July of 2009. Hell, it was new to me I didn’t know what was going to happen. I finally told my supervisors in August knowing that this was a reality, and told them I did not know how it was going to go. And I truly didn’t know, and not knowing is so scary… to be continued…